How many self-professed "experts" have you heard claiming to know exactly what you're looking for in a relationship? They sell books & videos, run seminars and provide a host of additional resources guaranteed to help us all find that special someone.

Dating services are backlogged with applicants, newspapers are overflowing with "personals" and the on-line singles chat-room phenomenon is booming. Yet, with all of this attention and so many venues available, frustrated singles the world over are still shaking their heads and asking that proverbial question: "Why am I alone?"

This page is not designed to provide advice, but rather to encourage you to take stock in yourself. Examine your true feelings regarding the following relationship questions:

What are You Looking For?
Are You Willing to Contribute?
What Do You Want?

What are You Looking For?
While intimate, long-term relationships offer immense benefits, there are also some very serious issues to consider. Examine the following comparison (Committed vs. Casual relationships), reviewing the benefits and potential dangers of each seriously.

Committed		Casual
Benefits:	Trust Companionship Romance Comfortable Feels Safe		No Commitment Freedom Release Stress Reducer Feels Good
Concerns:	Rejection Pain Commitment		Pregnancy STD's Mixed Signals

Are You Willing to Contribute?
If you've decided you'd like more than a casual relationship, it's time to ask what you're willing to contribute to that relationship. A committed relationship involves just that, "Commitment." As service members, realize that your job will mandate extended separations from loved ones. You may visit exotic ports overseas or exciting cities stateside. Are you sure you're ready to be loyal to that special someone? Will you communicate regularly with your partner to maintain a strong bond, or does this sound like too much, too soon?

What Do You Want?
Too many people do not take the time to consider this question seriously. It's often not the search for true love or companionship, but the insecure desire to have what everyone else has that motivates us. We're conditioned to believe that being single means we're destined to be lonely. That being in "any" relationship is preferable to being alone. As rational adults, we know this is absolutely not true and yet we continue to feel the need to search for something or someone we may not really want.

Seeking a person to fill a void, or make you appear to be "normal" is a recipe for disaster. Only when confident and comfortable with who you are, can you expect to find someone worthy of being your "partner." If you're truly there intellectually and emotionally, then go for it.

Information for this article was provided by the Navy Fleet and Family Support Center's "Return & Reunion Program."